Detroit Tigers’ pitcher Justin Verlander and Minnesota Twins’ pitcher Francisco Liriano both pitched no hitters in the same week. With such an outstanding and unique feat taking place Americans all over are all left with the same question… “Who cares?” In all honesty, there was a time where baseball was the most exciting thing to sports fans, now we have televisions and short attention spans, which don’t allow us to sit through nine innings of two guys playing catch.

For those of you that don’t know what a no hitter is, no worries you aren’t alone, I haven’t done any research but I’m pretty sure it’s an achievement that Chris Brown gets every time he takes a girl on a date and the police don’t show up. At least that’s the only no hitter I’m concerned about. However in baseball, a no hitter is when a pitcher doesn’t allow any of the opposing batters to get a hit. I’ll give you a moment to comprehend that. Sound exciting? It’s really not.

If you think about it, the crowning moment for the sport of professional baseball is when you take all the excitement out of the game. People go for a chance to catch a home run ball and a no hitter completely ruins that opportunity for them, that’s like a joke without a punch line. With that being said, baseball can no longer be America’s favorite pass time because not enough people care about it, instead I believe that pornography is the new American pass time.

Baseball and porn have both been around for a very, very long time, both have been enjoyed by men of all ages, and in both events there’s usually someone pitching and someone catching. It was inevitable that baseball would soon be over taken by porn to become the new national pass time. Still don’t believe me? Well lets look at it this way, both baseball and porn have been around since before the Internet, therefore both had the same opportunity to be promoted and positively affected by it, but I think it goes without saying which one actually benefited from the Internet.

It used to be, on a nice quiet afternoon, where you had nothing going on you would sit down and root the hometown team on. Now a days on a nice quiet afternoon, you log on and get off. Baseball realizes that they are being taken over by the porn industry, so you see them running promotional ads such as “all you can eat seats”, however if I’m not mistaken porn was the first industry to really go after the “all you can eat”, so baseball is once again behind the eight ball.

I guess the moral of this story is, ‘if you’re going to a baseball game, or going to make some porn of your own… Always bring a glove with you, because there is a chance you could catch something foul’.

- Derrick Knopsnyder

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