YouTube Rap and Jesus Christ Did Not Exist
httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-tSWNl8dYk
Archive for May, 2009
I Love My Whitey Tighties
When I was very young I wore whitey tighties. I belive this was quite normal for most kids. It kept my young junk from getting away from me. I remember being quite comfortable in my whitey tighties, and even would come into the living with only my whitey tighties on later in the night. This however I remember, made the babysitter very uncomfortable. I also found them so comfortable, that I would not want to take them off. I loved to say in my whitey tighties for days on end, and at the time, I thought that was very normal. The problem with doing this was I would eventually get ‘tire marks’ on my whitey tighties. This made me sad because it made my whitey tighties no longer whitey, but being the perceptive child I was, I knew what to do. Every once in awhile I noticed my mother’s whitey tighties (which i called mommy tighties) in the sink, and she too had ‘tire marks’ on them. Only hers seems much worse then my marks, and also had a collection of other colors. They seem to be soaking in what probably used to be warm water. “Ah”, I thought, “that’s how I can get my ‘tire marks’ out of my whitey tighties.” So I proceeded to put my whitey tighties under the sink and soak them in water. Later I went back to check on my whitey tighties but they were gone. I looked everywhere for my whitey tighties and I could not fine them. Finally I asked my mother what happened to my whitey tighties. “Did you steal my whitey tighties mommy? You have mommy tighties. Why would you take my whitey tighties?”. I was so confused when she started laughing. Then she asked me if I was put my whitey tighties in the sink. “Yes,” I answered, and she once again started laughing. This made me even more confused. “Why?,” she asked. “Because that’s what you do with your mommy tighties,” I answered. And again she started laughing at me. It took me many years to finally understand what was going in this situation. Many many years. Poor poor disgusting me.
A Man’s Conversations With His Penis Through 3 Stages of Life
Early Adolescence
Penis: HEY MAN, WHAT’S GOING ON?
Brain: Nothing, just calm down. I’m wearing sweatpants and we’re right in the middle of class.
Penis: BRO, LOOK AT ALL THESE CHICKS. LET’S HAVE SEX WITH THEM. ALL OF THEM.
Brain: We’re definitely not gonna do that.
Penis: YO THAT VOLCANO DIORAMA LOOKS LIKE A BOOB. WE SHOULD HAVE SEX WITH IT.
Brain: Please go back to sleep.
Penis: F*CK NO. I’M AMPED.
Brain: But I’ve gotta do a presentation. Everyone’s going to see you…
Penis: DON’T CARE.
Brain: Please, I’m begging you.
Penis: I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH EVERYTHING IN THIS ROOM.
Young Adulthood
Penis: Damn, your ex is looking pretty good tonight.
Brain: She’s crazy.
Penis: Crazy…IN THE SACK!
Brain: I’m not gonna hook up with her. Too much drama.
Penis: WE’LL SORT THAT SHIT OUT LATER.
Brain: No. I’ll sort it out later. You’ll just do whatever you want and leave me to deal with the consequences.
Penis: WHATEVER, MAN. STOP BEING GAY. WHAT ARE YOU GAY OR SOMETHING?
Brain: Can’t we just find someone else?
Penis: I HAVE MADE MY CHOICE. BEND TO MY WILL.
Old Age
Old at heart. And by heart I mean penis.
Brain: Come on, old buddy. You can do this. It’s my 40th wedding anniversary.
Penis: …Ugh.
Brain: Get up! Just this one time. Please.
Penis: Go away. I’m sleepy.
Brain: All I’m asking is for a few minutes.
Penis: With that old hag? That’s an eternity.
Brain: That’s my wife you’re talking about!
Penis: She bores me.
Brain: What if I think about someone else?
Penis: That could work. YEAH! LET’S DO THIS.
Brain: Great. OK, here we go.
Penis: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Brain: SON OF A BITCH.
Kaboom!
Resident Assistants – Crew & Casting Call
We are just some fools out of college who enjoy Barats and Bereta, Whitest Kids You Know, Rhett and Link, Lonely Island, etc. If you are looking for a well paid gig, I’m sorry but this post is not for you. If you want to have some fun, and make some funny videos like the people I mentioned before (who by the way made all their original videos with no money), then please read on.
Two RAs from college have been around the block, and they know how to keep their students in line. 9 PM is after quiet hours, no underage drinking, and no candles in the dorms are codes they live by and enforce (supposedly). These RAs go above and beyond the call of duty, and keep their dorms safe at any cost.
Main Characters are John, and Larry. Two males in their twenties who are Resident Assistants. John is the David Caruso of the pair, and Larry is striving to be like him.
Other characters are some hard core Halo gamers, a few lacrosse girls, and some other college nerds and stoners.
Crew members are also needed if anyone is interested. I am an award winning Director of Photography, and I believe I have a very funny script. If you want to have some fun, get your face on YouTube, and want some experience behind or in front of the camera; this gig is for you.
Once again, this is mostly just for fun, but we are professionals with professional equipment.
Crew and casting call will be held at Robert Morris University, Moon Township PA in Jefferson Hall (in the TV lounge area) on May 24th and May 31st at 1:00 PM. Please email me if you are interested in any of the positions. I can send you more details of the script and characters.
